By Dave Hauser
In the 1980s, a local radio station named WLIR had a slogan of “Dare to be Different”. They played unique music before anyone else and promoted “New Wave,” which was at most dying one’s hair a strange color or wearing thrift store chic. It was still a machinated form of standing out and throughout my life I have noticed that people are always questing to be set apart.
It seems that there are five ways in which people are set apart. There are conscious ways of doing something extreme to fit into a popular group or doing something drastic to be removed from mainstream life. Other ways included creating a sense of shock value or mystique to get a reaction. There are people who feel the need to accumulate unlimited wealth and move to specific areas to be set apart. Lastly, there is one way that always has been different, and it does not require premeditation.
I remember back in high school, my friend named Gary was trying to fit into the “cool crowd.” He was a bookish-looking individual and thought the only way to get attention was to create his own stir. We were in AP Biology together and we were going to be dissecting grasshoppers that month. In an attempt to attract attention, Gary went to the popular table at lunch and proceeded to eat a live grasshopper to gain admittance to that table. It created a buzz for a day or two and he probably got very sick, but many years later his legacy is that he was the guy who ate a grasshopper trying to fit in.
There are other people who choose to repel people by being different. These are the people who will live in remote areas to be away from people. They will go out of their way to look standoffish and unapproachable. These kinds of people send signals of fear to others so they don’t have to deal with people in their attempt to be different. As a teenager, I walked into a bar with my friends called Chances Inn, where the common tagline was where you took your chances upon entry. It was a biker bar and within thirty seconds of entering the bar, a huge man cracked a pool cue over his knees and let us know our acceptance level. These kinds of people are intentionally different to avoid human contact.
In my first semester away from home at college, the first three months leading to Thanksgiving break seemed infinite. As November began, I decided to grow my hair out, build a long beard, and pierce my left ear. The three months seemed like such an eternity; I wanted to come home and look sophisticated to my family and my friends. I remember the look on my parents’ face when they saw me for the first time and then the looks of my friends later that night. It wasn’t an intellectual curiosity, but instead a look of confusion and worry. I tried to come across as a Seventeenth Century painter. Instead, it did not land on its desired effect and the next day the earring, beard, and long hair were gone. A failed attempt at differentiation.
The last of the forced methods of distinguishing oneself is by accumulation. These are the people who have a never-ending quest for money. These people are always signaling their ability to stand out by flashiness, size of home, and seemingly infinite earnings. There is nothing wrong with striving for success in life; however, if it is just to exalt oneself, it will be empty. Most of these people live for the moments that they can show off their assets by having large parties or arriving at an event in an imported car. They can’t wait to hit each high school reunion so they can rub their wealth into others’ faces. The issues with these people are quite simple: they are filling voids with possessions and their emptiness will always dominate them.
I have lived long enough and have tested all of the above methods at different points in my life and the only road map to complete and satisfactory differentiation is being a proud believer. This requires no effort outside of praying, reading the Bible, and sharing one’s faith. There is no greater feeling than being able to pray for people in need and knowing that God is in control of everything.
When you build your relationship with God and pray that people will see the light in you and that your salt is tasty, you will be more different than ever and more accepted than ever. Jesus preached this on the Sermon on the Mountain and the red letters in the Bible are the most powerful words ever written on paper. We try to live our lives like Him every day and in 2024, that is more different than anything I have mentioned.
You are probably saying: “Does he mean we have to have a Messianic Complex?” That could not be further from the truth. In the past few years, we have run prayer stations across Long Island for the sole purpose of listening and praying for people in need. There is nothing more different than standing at a booth asking strangers if they need prayer, while not selling a product amongst hundreds of booths. We have seen God move to heal people, as well as find the right jobs and deal with their anxiety and fears.
Evangelism today is a lot different than in the past. People do not know us, and we can’t speak a message of Heaven and Hell to complete strangers, but we can show people the light by praying and listening to them. Being kind to people and following up with them over time to see them gain victory in their battles.
So, in conclusion, you don’t have to be rich, eat a grasshopper, get strange piercings, or live in the backwoods to be truly different. You just have to love people as Jesus did and you will be more different than ever, but more fulfilled.
Dave Hauser is CEO of 2 analytics companies HLS and Favored Panel and is a deacon at Smithtown Gospel Tabernacle at 1 Higbie Drive in Smithtown with Sunday services 9AM and 11:30 with many other programs. He can be reached at [email protected].
