As we detailed last week, filmmaker Michael Angelo, of Cold Spring Harbor, has a specific vision for his looming Masterpieces experiment he is conducting for Barstool Sports. His vision encompasses infinite layer-peeling of self-referential proportions.
However, where will the creative madness end? The project has grown so reality-engulfing and infiltrative, that now even I, a local journalist who’s a rom-com-length drive away from their tristate base of operations, find myself involved.
Spirits were high on September 27, a Tuesday afternoon that appropriately began at “Dog Day Afternoon Hot Dogs” – a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Brooklyn joint named for the iconic 1973 Al Pacino film that shot directly across the street. Summoned on the promise I could gain additional material for whatever else my unfolding collaboration with an old buddy would entail, I was promptly thrust straight into the fire.
Michael Angelo tabbed me to shoot footage of his golden camera angle pursuits while filming Frank “The Tank” Fleming’s latest hot dog review. Following the tightly-wound, overall success, Michael Angelo and the Jersey Transit-loathing, Jacob deGrom jersey-wearing Internet star were declaratively “ready to roll” onto the itinerary’s next item.
And so was I.
A short walk up the way, we received an extensive tour of Nighthawk Cinema, sandwiched between Michael Angelo genuinely presenting the manager a homemade candle for her candor, then shamelessly trying to recreate the unmatchable authenticity of this moment afterward. Nighthawk, Michael Angelo maps out with hellbent vigor, will host the premiere for what amounts to “Masterpieces: Season Zero” – a proof-of-concept product for Barstool execs and investors alike to see just how much business he and his team mean. The screening is being eyed for the end of October.
As it stands, Masterpieces’ over-the-top film language and lampooning proclivities are meant to subvert and call to task the hands that feed them. A crowd funder’s attachment to the first of expectedly many “Barstool Studios” films speaks for itself. How has the company yet to bankroll a movie featuring “Long Island Legend” Stu Feiner, of Farmingdale, first a producer and now set to be the star of the fingers- crossed forthcoming “Season One?”
Whether on record for a Masterpieces voiceover or in interviews with The Messenger, the neurotic but self-aware [Third Best] Michael Angelo believes CarePackageGate is to blame. As depicted in Masterpieces’ fourth episode, screened at Noir Cinema for family, friends and a humbled to be out of place journalist on September 15, Barstool founder Dave Portnoy holds a vendetta against Michael Angelo concerning how he was invited to an early screening in May.
On The Dave Portnoy Show podcast, “Pres” expanded on a tweet that alluded to the impropriety committed by Michael Angelo, his former producer. After Michael Angelo sent Barstool higher-ups formal invitations to the Noir Cinema-held event in conjunction with their favorite candies and movie snacks, Portnoy was left utterly aghast to have regular Cheez-Its, and not low-fat Cheez-Its, delivered to his Miami abode. He vowed in an on-brand rant not to attend the screening due to the emotional toll of such a betrayal.
Despite the blowback from the big dog, which Michael Angelo learned of and processed from a sky-high city rooftop in real-time in the same Masterpieces episode, head of content Hank Lockwood attended the May screening and greenlit the rest of the season.
This validation bursted Michael Angelo and Tank’s confidence bubble enough to carry them through the summer and into a fall that could be made or broken depending on whether or not the Mets steer clear of another collapse.
“I think once we get rolling, this will be unstoppable. If the first two movies are a success, who knows? Maybe we’ll be the next Miramax,” Tank told The Messenger with joy, unaware of the abysmal week his Mets were about to have.
The day was arguably perfect until agenda item C ended in what would be considered misery – for those who don’t work for a content factory.
Following intro and outro spots that intentionally do not explain where the Barstool boys and their Hauppaugian hanger- on got their stunning hats, Michael Angelo and Tank pooled their wits together to get a drone off the ground running at Prospect Park. But, this joy was short-lived, as a crash, followed by Michael Angelo’s Reis-documented mad dash across rush hour traffic and past passersby calling us “weirdos” led to the detection of a defeated drone that had lost its wings.
But we did not lose ours. While Tank was in an uproar, a pair of Michaels beamed upon gaining confirmation their recording took. The crash and mad dash will surely make for intense scenery in an upcoming Masterpiece sequence shot by a newspaper editor who last held a video camera while behind the scenes of a surprise engagement shoot on the set of a home renovation reality show in February.
It’s been a year.
After some business calls on the drive home and listening to Barstool’s latest episode of its KFC Radio podcast, I reflected on my day with a pair of Barstool gents -– and believed that I had not let it get to my head. I certainly did not use my experiences to boost my personal and company social media followings. I am simply a professional journalist who recognized it would have been blasphemy to turn down the chance to play a professional journalist in a funny film about funny guys making films.
Hanging in my home office upon my return: an Almost Famous poster. When you’re a pop culture-obsessed kid with a terminal case of “Writer Brain,” this coming-of-age Oscar winner is your favorite film. The film supposes that a young journalist’s wildest dreams could come true overnight if he wants them to bad enough. Its protagonist lies about his age on his path from the high school hall to becoming a Rolling Stone Magazine-deployed fly on the wall. William Miller is privileged to absorb the warts-and-all lifestyle of a 70s rock band on their cross-country tour.
Smacked with the reality I was neither an Oscar nor Pulitzer winner upon graduating from both of my colleges, I now, at 26 years old, have reclaimed the film I once somewhat renounced. I’ve done so per the generous Michael Angelo’s plea that I Almost Famous– style join his band as they embark on tour.
His band: Barstool. The tour?
Headed to the Moon.
