Cover credit – jcomp on Freepik
Now that summer is a thing of the past, life slows down on a little on our island. The summer months are filled with hustle and bustle, packed beaches, and extended weekends. The autumn months tend to be a little slower, spent at fall football and soccer games, sitting around bonfires, and figuring out what to do with all of the apples we picked at the orchard. Soon it will start getting dark earlier and we will spend more time at home.
The fall is usually the season I do a little more reflecting on my life, taking some honest inventory in how I’m spending my time and where I’m investing my talents. I used to live a really fast life, as many of us do in New York. “Slow down a little” is almost a blasphemous statement for us. For nearly ten years of my life, I lived in New York City. The epicenter of the entire globe of commerce, opportunity, networking, fashion and fame. Like Jay-Z said, “If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.”
In those ten years, I had a roommate for most of them who was a friend of mine from my late teens and twenties. He used to frequent a barber shop I worked in at the time and was a friend of my friends. We ended up clicking and hanging out a lot, pretty much daily.
He was originally from College Point but moved out to Mastic with his elderly mother to finish high school. His mom had him well into her forties, he never once mentioned anything about his dad. He was always eager to move back to Queens so after I graduated from Hofstra and was willing to give an honest attempt at a job in big city corporate America. We moved into a nice two-bedroom apartment in up-and-coming Astoria.
One day, he ran through the door early from work in a total anxious frenzy, not knowing what to do with himself. Corporate didn’t work out for me too long, so I was home all day and worked in the night clubs until early in the morning. His work schedule was just the opposite though so something was definitely wrong. “My mom fell and isn’t doing good,” he said. She was well into her seventies at this point.
A few days later, she passed away. Even though she was older, it was relatively sudden and unexpected.
His family was poor. They were able to afford one Friday viewing for her wake, a burial the following day and a humble dinner at his sister’s house after. My friend offered to drive us both out to the island since I had given up my car after moving to Queens. My response to him was, “I make most of my money on Friday and Saturday night. I can’t make it with such short notice.”
Our relationship was never the same after that and rightfully so. His mother’s passing brought to the surface the quality of a friend that I truly was or wasn’t. I was the friend too busy uping the amount in my Chase bank account to make it to your mother’s funeral.
Since then, I’ve seen fire and flood, medical bills and tragedy take away everything a person worked for. I’ve seen people lose everything and make it all back and then some. I’ve seen a person suddenly pass away shortly after retiring from a lifelong career. Never enjoying something he worked his entire life towards. Life is full of blessings and hardship, victory and seemingly defeat. It’s all a part of a much bigger plan at work.
One thing I’ve never seen though is a person get the time back that they lost. My friend’s mother’s wake was only once. I chose to miss it. That child’s graduation, sports game, award ceremony or dance recital is the same. Life is both fleeting and fragile, we truly never know how many tomorrow’s, sports events or ceremonies have been granted to us with those we love.
I hope you’ll take some time this fall and refocus on what’s truly priceless and of utmost value in life. I’m going to take some time to do the same.
