While females are more likely than males to attempt suicide, males are four times more likely to die by suicide, according to statistics gathered by preventfirearmsuicide.efsgv.org.
To prevent firearm suicide, and suicide in general, further destigmatization of mental health is required- especially as it pertains to men. Though traditional masculinity models have welcomed nuance in the 21st century, a man’s intrinsic reaction to proposals of psychoanalysis is still to run for the hills.
True self-introspection, unfortunately, does not come as easy as the social media ether would have you believe. Who could blame the modern man for letting old habits continually die hard despite their better judgments? After all, their heroes became just that because of their existence as carefully crafted pillars of perfection. Athletes whose slumps you don’t see anymore because we’re at the dawning of the age of highlight reel-based sports consumption; movie stars whose stuntmen and editors mask every last blemish; musicians whose producers remove every voice crack and instrumental oddity. With this, a warped perception survives–that, yes, it may be beneficial to sit around the metaphorical campfire and talk about your feelings. But I personally don’t have to, as old school ideologies are preserved on the phone I surrender to in lieu of taking the steps needed to replicate the confidence those liberated by celebrity exposure are afforded.
With the typical man expected to be more emotional in this day and age anyway, those with the cliched audacity to bottle things in tend to get ahead of matters by overcompensating via participation in activities they’ve long-outgrown for the sake of trivial machismo. They also harness the knack for complaining about life’s inconveniences in a way that’s less original soul unburdening than it is curbing their own Larry Davidian enthusiasm. Hiding behind media regurgitation permits closed-off men to cheat themselves out of properly looking inward; wherein, lies the key to what made them this bothered to the high heavens person in the first place.
In games of psychological chicken, the suffering man can never blink. And he who doesn’t blink is focused on what they’re staring daggers at enough they fail to detect the darkness converging from the peripheries. We’ve come to know these men as the self-deprecating room-workers who put themselves down with such ease, that a lack of loved ones’ reminders to combat put-downs with lift-ups will condition them to believe love is transactionally-earned pity.
“I am not OK” is the bravest thing a man can say in order to avoid the bridge over troubled water. You may first contend an obese person has the far worse off health situation; but it really boils down to self-perception. We all know overweight charismatics who feel more comfortable in their skin than the egomaniac workout nut so wrapped up in his vision of manhood, he is naive to how his self-help social media posts gaslight-bully the yet-courageous into feeling cowardice.
It’s not your job to put down the already-down. Lend them your hand so they can one day stand without it. Being your own best friend is not a guarantee, either; but it is a right seizable as ample reward for fending off “improvement police” paranoia. There are men you haven’t seen in years because in the “fight or flight” frenzy, they chose the latter. Covid too pointed out those in our lives who would elect to stay in the woods even after the rest of us made it out, relatively speaking.
“The man of the house” once took on the brunt of the world’s blows so the rest of the family didn’t have to. Modernization does not mean everyone takes the punches now. Should you be struck, don’t leave an ordeal unaddressed. Dissect what brought upon that wound, and devise a healing strategy with those who have been in the same hole before and thus, lo and behold, they know the way out.
A man’s first step to making mental health headway? Talking it out. It can be with a therapist, but it doesn’t have to be; therapeutic release can be found elsewhere. Take up a new hobby. Do something you’ve never done before, every day. Keep a journal. Start a podcast. Read a book. Read several. Write one… because confessing your worst plights won’t lead to spontaneous combustion. Rather, it confirms your delusions were merely confusions, and now they are confusions-no-more.
Real men know crying through overwhelm is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of humanity. We only get so many emotions at our disposal, that a man would be damned if he didn’t redeem the tearful blessing every once in a while and let it all out. Even if it’s during a “chick flick” or Rudy. Though, if this is the lone time the waterworks come home to cruise, then you know you’ve got a well-adjusted man on your hands.
That is the message. This is The Messenger.
